im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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