Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize