she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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