I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
