Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
