i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
