So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
