NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
