so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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