I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
