I'd wear matching sweaters with you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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