Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
