i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
