Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
