I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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