you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
