There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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