i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
