Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
