there was a trapeze. enough said
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
