I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
