he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
