Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
