our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
