I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
