She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
