It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
