adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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