i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
