so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
