I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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