I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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