Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
