i dont even know how to be here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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