i permit you to call me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize