How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
not ubering you a puppy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
