Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
