i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
