What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
