How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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