porn star boner night. come get it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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