We won't sleep together?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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