Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sobbing to NWA
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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