Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This house was built for laser tag.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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