just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
