The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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