alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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