He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
