I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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