Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize