ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
