the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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