You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
