so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
