Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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