Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
