these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
