I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
