what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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