hotel room ftw
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
