i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
