I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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