I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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