this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
