Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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